The script monkeys

I moved a wee bit more than 1 week ago from Brixton to lovely Herne Hill. The unpacking, repacking, unpacking is in a stabilisation phase. The TV works, the wee has now two motes. Great ! except one thing : the broadband access. No Internet is not very surprising just one week after moving, but it looks unlikely to be solved anytime soon thanks to my provider, let's call him pit-bull to avoid citing the brand :).

The moving broadband stuff started about 1 month ago. There is a form on pit-bull's website where you enter all your customer's information and your moving address. Looks easy ! So I thought naively. After 3 weeks no news, redo the form, and send another request to be updated. I received a confirmation of my request but no of the moving form. I was not really worried, we were moving in 1 weeks, broadband was not a priority. On the 28th we were "settled" and I decide to call pit bull. Good stuff, they told me they sent me an email at 10 - I received it in the afternoon ... - and I just need to place a new order. Easy !

I go on the web site, try to place a new order. "ERROR, can't find your address details, it my be our fault" the web site said. Yes might be ... It's been their fault no for 2 week ... After a few days, I decide to try to phone the pit-bull customer torture service, just to know what was the issue and if they can provide Internet at my new place. Otherwise I just going to another provider not a big deal. Except that the customer was useless, or deaf ... So I sent a email to complain, after a more few days they told me to phone the billing team and ask for the Customer Operation mythic team. It took me about 30 minutes, 3 calls and telling my details 8 times to get in touch with this elusive team. And after 1 minute they wanted to transfer me to the technical support !!!!!!

Piss off by all these morons, I started to get rude, and it worked. I said I did not want to go to technical support, that they're gonna f****** solve my problem or I gonna see if some other birds have a better customer service. So now I'm waiting he should call me in 30-40 minutes, after talking to his supervisor. No call at 3pm and I send a f****** email to cancel my subscription and my direct debit.

Anybody wrote a book called "Call Center Survival Guide" ? because that would be bloody useful to go through all the script monkeys in less than 30 minutes.


NB: my-bulldog-hell apparently paired with bulldog to sort issues.

-- Update
He call me back on time ! He told me to check with BT if they were providing the service, I say and what if they do ? He say then you place your order ! But I can't f****** place my order if the site does not work ! yes you can. No I f****** can't. Oh yes you're right you can't. Gonna talk to my supervisor... Oh yes what we can do it's placing it for you.

Thank God !!!!

8 phone calls, 54 minutes and 9 emails letter they did get it !