Friday, January 25, 2008

FRENCH TRADER WAS FORCED TO WORK 30 HOURS A WEEK

FRIENDS of rogue trader Jerome Kerviel last night blamed his $7 billion losses on unbearable levels of stress brought on by a punishing 30 hour week.

Kerviel hid his November losses in a batch of wonderfully fresh croissantKerviel was known to start work as early as nine in the morning and still be at his desk at five or even five-thirty, often with just an hour and a half for lunch.

One colleague said: "He was, how you say, une workaholique. I have a family and a mistress so I would leave the office at around 2pm at the latest, if I wasn't on strike.

"But Jerome was tied to that desk. One day I came back to the office at 3pm because I had forgotten my stupid little hat, and there he was, fast asleep on the photocopier.

"At first I assumed he had been having sex with it, but then I remembered he'd been working for almost six hours."

As the losses mounted, Kerviel tried to conceal his bad trades by covering them with an intense red wine sauce, later switching to delicate pastry horns.

At one point he managed to dispose of dozens of transactions by hiding them inside vol-au-vent cases and staging a fake reception.

Last night a spokesman for Sócíété Générálé denied that Kerviel was overworked, insisting he lost the money after betting that the French were about to stop being rude, lazy, arrogant bastards.

From the Daily Mash

1 comment:

USpace said...

What a Eurowimp, most traders in the US work many more hours than that. I wonder if he'll run. He's toast...
.
absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
you MUST become a trader

you will impress all the girls
they will think you are brilliant

.
absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
promote ALL employees

so long as they wear nice suits
and impress you with their words

.
absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
don't monitor employees

let junior clerks bet billions
afterall it's only cash

.
absurdthoughtsaboutgod.blogspot.com
.